Truman Show

That moment when you realized that God loves you for losing your sanity. And that another moment when you also realized that all those stars on the sky are actually bullshits: they're just projected by lots of LCD on the big overlapping black screens. And everything and anything, all together, had agreed to dig your grave on the stage, while the others watched them in distance. Others maybe would have the eagerness to participate as well, with their fake, ugly acting skills, but they're still going to be nominated in Oscar anyway. And it didn't matter anyway, because what mattered was how they were going to put you in that grave. We all knew who is going to win. So, just close your eyes tightly, and go to sleep, because by midnight, the director will put the play on. And don't get awaken up by the cheers of the audience--so close you ears tightly as well, and just let them take you. Let all the casts take you, let all the audience love you, let all the actress, the actors, the director win the Oscar, let them all win, because you know you're gonna lose anyway.




2014.

Untitled, 2013.

Pergilah, tolong.

Karena aku pasti akan kembali untuk menacari, aku pasti akan pulang lagi dan lagi
menuju rumahmu

dan mengagumi permadani indah yang terbuat dari paku yang selalu kau pasang di depan pintumu itu

dan walau berjuta kali kakiku menancap tak berdaya di atasnya

dan walau beratus juta kali pula kau ucapkan maaf setelahnya

dan walau aku semakin muak dan semakin yakin untuk pergi,

ataupun semakin butuh dan semakin ingin untuk tinggal,

pergilah, usirlah aku.

Paksalah aku untuk menggelandang,
tidur beralaskan jalan abu-abu yang dingin itu.

karena aku akan selalu mencari rumah itu,
namun bukan kamu.



2013.

I'd die for you

but that doesn't mean
that it is right for you
to kill me.